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Breakups & Bouncing Back - Going Through The Grief Cycle


“What is meant for you in life will never pass you by"

When we go through heartbreak we go through ups and downs of acceptance and letting go and this really does bring about a selection of emotions that we have to endure. I see it as sinking or swimming but we must always choose to swim - no matter which emotion it is that you may be feeling today. Having a greater understanding of the stages of grief in which our mind and body react to such events that life throws at us is really important. It can feel like a monotonous spiral but here's hoping it's upwards to feeling a little bit more 'you' again.

Denial - Thinking the time that someone needs time away from you is just a space to grow, rebuild oneself and in time things will repair and you will both begin to rebuild something that once was, but perhaps a stronger force not to be reckoned with. This is a particularly tough wave of emotion and will make you feel, as it did me, that you are taking 10 steps back when all you want to do is move forward.

Anger - Fiercely furious, especially if you are dealing with a betrayal of trust and feeling like you have no answers. In this stage you will begin to ask yourself if you asked all the questions you want to ask, got all the answers you want to hear and either way, would it be enough? For me, and I am certainly sure you, no answer will ever be good enough or take away the severity of how you feel. You have to accept someones right to chose their own path and if it's not a path you are walking down together, you have to believe this is preparing you for something greater. Perhaps a greater love and the greatest life.

Depression - Taking it inward and finding ways to blame yourself and thinking that perhaps you were the reason for someone elses actions, you were not enough in certain capacities. This stage will fully take the wind out of your sails, as it did mine, but we must remember we are only responsible for ourselves and we are whole individually, we were just not compatible. You have to remember that there needs to be two wholes to make a forever love last.

Acceptance - A calm stage where normality starts to set in and you remember who you were without your former other half. This is a bitter sweet phase as when you start to feel just a little more okay than you did yesterday, you feel a sense of blame for moving on. One day, in time you will wake up and your former partner won't be the first thought and vision on your mind and things will begin to seem a little clearer. Be patient, this day will come when the time is right.

It's important when going through these stages of grief that we do not give ourselves such a hard time as not only are we having to let go of our past relationship but we should also be letting go of negative thoughts and feelings towards ourselves post-relationship. Pro-actively work on self-care with small but essential tasks daily that can help push towards progress in a positive way. I will put together some top tips and link back here so you can work your way to the happiest version of you in time.