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Dating Apps: Are They Designed To Keep You Forever Dating?



We’ve recently been begging the question “are dating apps designed to keep you dating” but we don’t mean in the way you think. Moreover the question should be phrased “are dating apps designed to keep you single” and keep you hooked into the app.

There is no doubt that in 2020, a year where loneliness has been at the forefront of so many minds, especially those that are single and dwell alone, that apps have had their place and kept so many connected to each other in the short term.

But with a report of high statistics of users remaining single and active on the apps for months if not years desire having a high conversion rate from swipes to matches, it does beg the question, doesn’t it?

In a nutshell, I would say yes for many reasons. So many are hoping that the ‘perfect person’ for them is on the side of the next swipe and so they forever have FOMO and forever continue to explore more.

Dating apps have intricate and aggressive algorithms that are designed to get to know you better than your best friend. Your dating app(s) are following your moves and getting into your psyche in a way that you probably never thought it could.

Imagine technology that is smart enough to build a profile of your inner thoughts about your ideal partner based on facial recognition of those that you swipe right on, seeking those who look similar with similar features based on their uploaded pictures. This aggressive algorithm based on looks alone, putting all its other functions to aside for one moment, is enough to keep you on your toes and itching to find out who is on the next swipe.

This alone essentially builds a fear of missing out (FOMO) in the modern daters mind.

There is no doubt in my mind that dating apps are designed to keep you dating, that’s just how they are built in order to monetise on a never-ending search for physical perfection and ‘deep connection’. Apps are a contributing factor to putting perfection in your next partner on a pedestal and because so many singles get hooked, just liked with gaming, its really tricky for them to be mentally present in the now with their current romantic potentials as there is a ‘what if’ ideology in the back of their minds about potential next matches.

There’s also so many intricacies to consider beyond face mapping that apps take into consideration such as the keywords you tend to be attracted to in profiles and hobbies, they most likely account for the language you have used/use when engaging with existing matches to ensure that profiles are presented to you with others that have showed the same or similar words.

No doubt you feel in control of your dating narrative but when you sit back and take a birds-eye view of such technological advances in modern dating, you can’t help but wonder if you have made choices or if they have been pre-vetted and selected for you.

Further to aggressive advances in dating app algorithms theres also so much psychology behind it that simply can’t be ignored or put down to an algorithm. Let’s consider the feel good factor and those hits of serotonin that singles receive when they receive a like, a mutual match or a message from someone they are attracted too. Those hits of serotonin undoubtedly make way for singles to feel good about themselves, validated in fact, and in times such as these where low mood has set in for some and connection is lacklustre, dating apps provide that connection and validation and act as a mood booster.

So are they built to be deleted? Of course not. I believe that they are built to keep singles searching for their next hit of serotonin moreover a significant other. I also believe that they are a contributing factor to singles struggling in modern dating with commitment across the board. Commitment to messaging back, commitment to creating great dates and commitment to relationships or potential relationships.

Singles have a solid, committed relationship to their dating apps moreover the people behind the profile. It could be said that there is a vicious cycle of seek and reward behaviour to making so many people feel better about themselves momentarily. But, it’s all for the short term isn’t it? If you’re a single out there searching for a committed connection, as yourself what kind of relationship you have with your dating app(s).

If you’re not that person that keeps downloading, connecting, deleting, redownloading and swiping in your spare moments then perhaps you have a healthy relationship with your dating apps and you’re actively & healthily approaching your search for a romantic partner. However, if you resonate with this then ask yourself a question.

Are dating apps right for me? Do I believe they are designed to keep me dating or am I ready to commit to finding the one and delete it. Just some food for modern dating thought.

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