For so many couples the idea of etching out a few minutes in their day to get down to it, let alone sectioning off a weekend for a romantic rendezvous with their partner is too much to even think about let alone do. Working oneself into the mood about to even think about making some sexual moves can be quite the effort let alone actually doing the deed itself, so why is that?
Well, quite frankly there are a few reasons and I am actually so excited to work through them with you as we’ve all been there - from morning latte to lights out, the feeling of getting frisky with your partner can seem like it make take too much time or perhaps you just can’t get in the mood because affection can sometimes only mean one thing - sexual action, rather just the art of flirting and showing a tender love and care and maybe that feeling or space isn’t your bag.
I don’t know if it’s just me, or perhaps it’s a female thing - but I know I need to feel connected, I need to feel heard and I need to be in a space of good physical and verbal communication within my couple to be able to get into anything sexually actionable. Otherwise, I am simply not interested. Some might think it’s vanilla, some might think it lacks spontaneity or simply just the daringness to do the deed but in reality - I need all my strings attached.
SLIP SOME SIMMERING BACK INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
Are you in a relationship where if you or your partner start to kiss, or make a pass it’s often just because he or she is interested in doing the deed? Does being affectionate only mean one thing in your relationship and is it frustrating you? Well, it could mean that you have forgotten how to simmer and trust me you have simmered plenty of times before.
Simmering is that slow and intentional back and forth flirtation and communication with your partner. It’s the odd text in the middle of a busy day with a showing of affection, it’s a kiss on the neck when you’re running out of the door, it’s the brush of a hand when one of you is pottering around in the kitchen, the hand on a knee under the dinner table when out with friend or even the smile across the room when in a chaotic room with family members or friends that says “I see you and only you at this moment in time”. The busy hustle and bustle of every day life can take over and somehow intimacy can sometimes become more of a necessity and a need to show your partner you care rather than a deep want and building of lust to show love.
I know that so many people can relate, I know that so many people have been there or are in that space in their relationships right now and they feel STUCK. The problem can lye in not knowing how to become unstuck, how to communicate it or even just trying to understand what changed and what is changing and you know what, it’s super simple and you can switch things around and show your partner you’re all in for sex and sensuality just with a spot of simmering.