Most of us take time to think towards the year ahead and get planning forward for what it is that we really, truly want. For singles thoughts often turn to building a romantic relationship with someone new. A notion of New Year New Love. Here's 7 Top Tips to help you hit the ground running, navigating that all important search for a someone a little bit more ease.
Trust in the process. I always refer to the slight edge and believing if you want something you don’t even just have to believe- you work towards it little by little and day by day. If you want to meet someone special, for the long-term, take a look at what you are doing today and what more you could do tomorrow. Just do a little bit each day of online, offline via your very own matchmaker or by visiting any local singles events to really utilise all options for finding love. Just because instant online matches are readily available doesn’t mean a relationship or marriage are also as instant, it takes time and effort. Jump on the wave and trust that the process will get you there, you have to be in it to win it so they say.
Give Everyone A Chance. Research has proven that our connectabilty with tech today has effected our attention span so much and made us impatient in almost every circumstance, mostly our patience with others has thinned making love last the long-run a potential challenge. If you find on a date there is perhaps not instant attraction I would really say just give the meet up a chance, there is a reason somewhere that you have both been matched online or via a matchmaker and so just remember to be a little more yourself, in realtime.
Make Sure To Cover All Bases. The dating industry is now saturated with options and although too many options can sometimes be oh so daunting I would say putting like minded, compatible people in one place to give them the best chance to meet has never been easier or more accessible. One thing I would say is think about the kind of person you would like to meet- what dating apps would they use? Would they utilise online websites and would the serious searchers pay for an online service or head to a free website? Perhaps the person you are looking for might not even consider online and may turn to traditional matchmakers for a more professional and dedicated approach to finding lasting love? Think carefully about the kind of pool you want to be swimming in.
Aim for Date 2 Every Time. Don’t jump onto the dating scene with the next please mentality. It’s important to remember that every relationship takes compromise and nobody is perfect; even though science would have us believe in the beginning stages of love that another can be. Give everyone you meet a real chance and remove your checklist; you are not in Wall Mart or Waitrose. They deserve a second date and so do you- be in the moment on each date and remember the first date should just be about hello as first date nerves, pressures post working day and meeting someone new can all be a hindrance to showing our true selves. Please remember that the first date is not an interview for marriage it’s a chance to see if you get along and could there be any chemistry moving forward.
Don’t Limit Your Options. The older we get the more specific we get about who we are, what we want and who we want to meet. We begin to create lists and build parameters which can sometimes cut ourselves off from what is best intended for us. Aim to be flexible with the things that really matter. A great strategy when it comes to your love match search so not to limit your options is to just select 3 to 5 things that truly matter such as values, upbringing and life direction, lifestyles and remove their specified criteria’s that are less meaningful to you. Choose what’s essential and get rid of the rest.
Ensure Not To Reveal Too Much, Too Soon. It’s important to take your time getting to know someone and I am a firm believer that a slow burner has the miles it needs to run the distance. I don’t think oversharing on religion, political views, how many children you want and what your mother wants for your future on a first date is the going to help things move forward as the pressure is then immediately on between two people. Things can reveal themselves slowly over time so don’t rush it. Ensure that it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Manage Your Expectations. If you have a list as long as the 6’2 guy you want to meet perhaps you need to think about your non-negotiables and scrap the rest. Building a relationship takes two and like a new build, the foundations you both have ought to be the same and solid, these are your values and moral fibre, but growth and building up needs to be a process of communication, understanding and everything else is just interior design. I would suggest putting the thoughts of the kind of person you would like to meet down on paper but be realistic and manage whats most important- everything else is just a bonus.
I will end by saying this. Whatever journey we have in mind is we need to put ourselves out there little by little, day by day and no matter what we will get there. Trusting in the process is key to getting whatever it is we truly want and remembering that if we get frustrated and relapse from our plan to meet someone new, build a new business, grow personally, professionally or financially we can always jump back on the bandwagon and maintain what we set out to do in small actionable steps. “If it’s easy to do, it’s easy not to do”- the choice really is yours in love and all areas of your life this new year.
@FabSarahRyan