Christmas & the festive season is a time of year to wind down with family and friends and reflect on the year just past in all of it's glory; including the highs and the lows. Taking time out from our hectic work schedule, most of us leaving the hustle and bustle of city life to do so, can bring about thought provoking moments of analysis of where we have gotten to and how much we have achieved.
Most of us take time to think towards the year ahead and get planning towards what it is that we really, truly want. For singles thoughts often turn to building a relationship with someone new & companionship, so I thought putting a few top tips together might help hit the ground running and navigating that search for a someone a little bit easier:
#1 Cover All Bases. The dating industry is now saturated with options and although too many options can sometimes be oh so daunting I would say putting like minded, compatible people in one place to give them the best chance to meet has never been easier or more accessible. One thing I would say is think about the kind of person you would like to meet- what dating apps would they use? Would they utilise online websites and would the serious searchers pay for an online service or head to a free website? Perhaps the person you are looking for might not even consider online and may turn to traditonal matchmakers? Think carefully about the kind of pool you want to be swimming.
#2 Manage Your Expectations. If you have a list as long as the 6'2 guy you want to meet perhaps you need to think about your non-negotiables and scrap the rest. Building a relationship takes two and like a new build, the foundations you both have ought to be the same and solid, these are your values and moral fiber, but growth and building up needs to be a process of communication, understanding and everything else is just interior design. I would suggest putting the thoughts of the kind of person you would like to meet down on paper but be realistic and manage whats most important- everything else is just a bonus.
#3 The Word 'Perfect' Should Not Even Be In The Dictionary. Perfect is an idiology and not real or tangible. As human beings we change, we grow and develop, if we do not then all that is left for us to do is simply stagnate. When we are lucky enough to meet a life partner we accept them for all there are, all they have been and all that they are yet to be. Forget perfect and work with the above- your values and morals.
#4 Trust in the process. I always refer to the slight edge and believing if you want something you don't even just have to believe- you work towards it little by little and day by day. If you want to meet someone special and for the long-term take a look at what you are doing today and what more you could do tomorrow. Just do a little bit each day of online, offline or singles events and eventually you will get there. Just because instant online matches are readily available doesn't mean a relationship or marriage is also instant. Jump on the wave, ride it and trust that the process will get you there.
#5 Be More Human. Just because your friends and the online world of dating teaches us to be virtual daters doesn't mean that we have to comply completely. It is never okay to begin a new relationship on twitter, whatsapp or whatever millennials do these days. Stand out from the crowd, sort out a coffee date straight away or even have a facetime. How can you spark up some chemistry with emojis?
#6 Aim for Date 2 Every Time. Don't join the next please possy. Give everyone you meet a real chance. They deserve it and so do you- be in the moment on each date and remember the first date should just be about hello. Unless he was like Beetlejuice or she was literally Cruella de Vil then organise a second date. Please remember that the first date is not an interview for marriage.
#7 Give Everyone A Chance. Research has proven that our connectabilty with tech today has effected our attenton span so much and made us impatient in almost every circumstance. If you find on a date there is perhaps not instant attraction I would really say just give the meet up a chance, there is a reason somewhere that you have both been matched and
I will end by saying this. Whatever journey we have in mind is we need to put ourselves out there little by little, day by day and no matter what we will get there. Trusting in the process is key to getting whatever it is we truly want and remembering that if we get frustrated and relapse from our plan to meet someone new, build a new business, grow personally, professionally or financially we can always jump back on the bandwagon and maintain what we set out to do in small actionable steps. Like Jeff Olsen says "if it's easy to do, it's easy not to do"- the choice really is yours.